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I want to say Happy independence Day to Nigeria. I do, But the question is, are we? A sovereign Nation yes. Independent?

I want to believe in this thing called Nigeria, I do. But everywhere I look, some little good, and then overwhelming bad. Chaos. The words stick in my throat.

I want to say I believe in Nigerians; the people, but do I? Everywhere I look, I see fakeness, avarice, wastefulness, hubris and for no reason; I see young people who just want to make money quick, I see people who just want a chance to get to Aso Rock so they can do the very same things they are now on this ‘other’ side complaining about. I SEE REUBEN ABATIS WAITING TO HAPPEN.

I see things, little things in our everyday lives as a people, the things we have internalized as NORMAL, the ‘half bread is better than none’ mentality that makes you pay for something that costs 1000 Naira, you get the value of 600 Naira and you should be grateful; I see mediocrity, complacency, illiteracy, meanwhile higher colleges of learning spew them out on our streets every day, and social media has given them a voice to air their views and opinions and like a stinking asshole, every fucking person has one. But that’s all they are doing. Showing their asses that they forgot to wipe with tissue. Never mind wash with water or as in my case, soap. So many graduates, so little sense. I see a country that in every way is not ready.

A country where in 2015, you will get your voters card and go and vote along religious and ethnic lines. Because ‘he is so humble, did you see, he went and knelt and Adeboye laid hands on him.’ He IS a fucking illiterate, a school principal should NOT be my president. What people see is a miracle, ‘if it can happen to him, it can happen to me too.’ No, leave that for winning the lottery, not leadership.

But being President is what people spend a lifetime preparing for. It’s not a testimony story of going from shoeless to clueless; a deer caught in headlights. And yet, someone like former Governor Donald Duke, where is he, when Goodluck Jonathan is my president? Christian, Muslim, Pagan, Atheist, I don’t care. Is he/she willing to give their blood to see to it that this nation, La Cosa Nostra this thing of ours works, and works, and works as long as the sun sustains planet Earth? That is who.

I look around me, I do. The things we accept as normal;


-Lack of empathy

-Lack of accountability

-Tardiness aka African Time aka ‘fashionably late’

-Laziness – physical, mental, emotional, just laziness.

-A Lackadaisical attitude to just about everything. Nothing – just nothing gets done properly, from the president to the plumber.

-Absolutely no integrity, so that a person who is half-honest is actually hailed like they are something special.

-Where the people we put in office, we thank them for using up to 30% of loot for actual development; he could have chosen to steal ALL duh.  “You people are not happy”. That is why Lagos State is so deplorable with the staggering revenues and allocation, and we fucking think Fashola is a King; we don’t care what goes into our National budget, we are robbed blind! People are poor, so heartbreakingly poor I cannot stand to think about it. But we are a nation of grateful people.

-Ignorance on a scale so staggering I am ashamed to come from a country that in 2014 people are waking before 6am to have a bath because it kills Ebola; and a stupid boy who survives contacting from his girlfriend deafens me with tall tales of how he beat the virus because he fasted and prayed and ate holy communion like it was the new Superfood and his church members came and prayed for him and read books on healing and goes on and on till I wish it had got him. I said it, kill me. I WANTED THAT JULIANA’S FIANCEE THAT SURVIVED EBOLA TO DIE – he is one of the worst sort; a country where a charlatan so-called Man of God tries to throw an extra three or four storeys on a building that was designed to hold two, then starts to spin a yarn about a plane that was hovering from the Kingdom of Darkness.

A country where the stark illiteracy is so staggering that when I find people I can have intelligent conversations with, I feel like I found gold. Yet, social media has given every Tom, Dick and Harry a voice and my god, they speak so loud.

We are sitting around waiting for a god that allows little children get abused by religious cults, people are branded witches and burned. We are waiting for an uncaring, capricious being, if it exist to come and build this land for us. Meanwhile, we cloud our minds with ignorance and most people feel that ‘knowing Jesus is knowing the most important thing’ you know notin Jon snow!

A country where T B Joshua will go free for what he has done; where we turn on our own and anything is sacrosanct , untouchable if it has the stamp of some god on it,. if it sacred and said in the name of the Father, the Sceptic and the Son. Well, I say, FUCK THAT. And you if that is you. So musch God, so little kindness that when you are kind to someone, the surprise breaks your heart. Where we have gone numb.

A country where people will put a tire around another human being and a crowd will form is not a nation I feel proud of this morning. From the streets to the corridors of power, we have lost our humanity. We are animals. And until we start to get it right from within – deep within, until we give 100% of what we are paid for, whether as a labourer, or as a President, this country will continue to hobble along until your Jesus comes. From the streets to the corridors of power, we have all failed! I haven’t. That is why I am here.


Every citizen must stand up, PAY TAXES, then turn right around and ask ‘Hey, where did my money go?’ Leave God alone to tell T B Joshua about the score of Nigeria vs Argentina. Let us build this land. You cannot be passive. You. Can. Not. Posterity would judge you – but then you would get to the mercy seat quicker where God would forgive you letting this nation go to rot on your watch.

So, forgive me if I am not in love with this thing called Nigeria; and let me be quartered and drawn before I will wave that  green white green today and pretend.

But hey, Happy Independence Nigeria.

Whatever makes you sleep at night.

PS Can’t believe these people are making me spend independence day in the hospital. We so hoped to get discharged yesterday. As it happens, seems we are here until Thursday.

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