I posted on facebook “So what if i cannot make akamu! I just cannot make akamu. I can’t. I have tried. I have been taught by many people and for many years. I cook very very well, i do even if i say so myself but akamu defeats me over and over again. Some people tell me the water should boil until it sublimates sef *sic*, some say the water should not boil too much. Some say the cold water paste shld be very light, some say it should be thick. Whatever i do, my pap is awful

I remember once i was making pap for my dad. I actually needed like 50 naira worth but i bought like a hundred fifty worth to widen the error margin. Even the third try had lumps. I loooove pap and i hate lumps in pap as much. So i didn’t know how to face my dad. My brother Jnr Bayano Osibu (i am sure you have forgotten this) told me i could tell my dad that HE made the pap. So when my dad bellowed “who made this pap?” i pointed at my brother. What he (my dad) said next surprised us. “This is very good pap” he yelled. I felt deflated. If i could, i would have shoved my brother aside and claimed the praise. Too late.

Anyway, i say all of that to say this. Whenever i hear the expression “she cant even make common akamu/pap/ogi”, i am furious. I cannot make it. And i am a damn good cook. That follows for egg. I can’t boil egg if i don’t time it properly.”

This photo is Kudzai Ezekiel’s beautiful and simply hilarious response

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